Financial jokes of 2010

After another eventful year for global financial markets, there is
plenty to look back and laugh about. Here is  list of the most amusing jokes

 of the year..........

A young girl and her father are looking at a nursery full of newborn
babies. All of them are crying.
Girl: Are they hungry?
Dad: No…They just found out they'll have to pay for the stimulus bill.

The economy of Greece is in Ruins……….but hasn't it always been?

Senator Christopher Dodd says that Wall Street is detached from the
"real economy". Considering this economy, isn't that kind of a good
thing?

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has announced he is willing to
serve another term. Bernanke said, "Where else would I get a job in
this economy?"




The good news is that, last year, the F.B.I. reported a 20% decrease
in the number of people robbing banks.The bad news is that there was a 100% increase in the number of banks robbing people.



Hey, look, I don't want to say the stock market is unstable, but this
morning, the opening bell was rung by Paula Abdul.

The Dow is dropping so frequently they have decided to just add an 'n'
to the end of it

The economy is so bad, 

• I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart
•  Bill Gates had to switch to dial up
•  Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"
•  Exxon-Mobil  laid off 25 Congressmen
•  I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank
•  I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
•  the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates
•  a certain celebutante changed her name to "Paris Holiday Inn."

McDonalds just added another item to its $1 value menu… Citigroup stock

What is the difference between Iceland and Ireland?… One letter and
about six months.

A Wall Street trader is leaning out the window one afternoon watching
the traffic go by. He accidentally falls, plunging four floors.
As he lies on the sidewalk, a very pretty women comes up to him and
asks: "How are you doing?
He looks at her and says: "I make about six figures."

There is a new income tax form.
The first line says: How much did you make last year?
The second line says: How much do you have left?
The third line says: Send it to us.

NASA Probe Reveals Likely Presence of Pond Scum on Mars' Surface.
Will Next Search for Presence of Goldman Sachs Traders.

A man calls his broker, who tells him that he's got a hot new stock pick.
"Buy it, buy it," the man says.
The next day he calls the broker for an update – the stock is up 5%
"Buy it, but it," the man says.
The next day he calls the broker again, and the stock is up another 5%.
"Buy some more, buy some more," the man says.
He calls the broker again the next day, who tells him the stock is up 10%.
"Sell it, sell it," the man says.
The broker says: "To who?"

Before those financial hearings in Washington started, everyone had to
go through security. When Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfine was made
to empty his pockets…lots of Republican senators fell out.

Madoff behind bars: Day One
Prison roommate: Lemme get this straight, I give you one cigarette and
next week you give me ten?!!
Madoff: It's that simple

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd
and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized
that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to
interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the
first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity
must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you
an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about
honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my
education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very
first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment counselor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

Toyota has recalled another 1.5 million cars.  The company issued an
apology:  "We're sorry that you haven't heard from us lately.  We hope
that this recall reestablishes Toyota as the undisputed world leader
in defective vehicles and poor management.  Oh,what a feeling!"

380 million eggs have been recalled.  Stupid me; I never even knew
that Toyota had a model called the Egg.

In this economy, it's difficult to find a partner that has a good job.
Things have gotten so bad I've started speeding. That way, when I get
pulled over, at least I know the person I'm flirting with has a job.

"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping
when they ran out of money."