Politically Correct ......

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We all know how literally impossible it is to not offend SOMEONE these days, everyone is just SO TOUCHY... So this guide will help you on how to speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

• She is not a SCREAMER ; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

• She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

• She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

• She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

• He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

• He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

• He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

• He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

• He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

• He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

• He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

• He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

• He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

• He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

• He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

• He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

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