Pets

SRTendulkar

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=110329%2FCricket

Can't get a date? Now create a hot (fake) girlfriend on Facebook!

How far would you go to boost your profile? Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

Do you want to change your 'single' status on Facebook to 'in a relationship'? Well, a new service is here to help you.

A fake companion service, called 'Cloud Girlfriend', is being launched for the lonely hearts, reportsNews.com.au

The service promises users with empty Facebook walls the chance to make their friends jealous.

So, how does it work? 

You just have to describe your dream girlfriend to the company, which then creates a fake profile and starts sending pokes your way.

The instructions on the 'Cloud Girlfriend' website read:

1: Define your perfect girlfriend.

2: We bring her into existence.

3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favourite social network.

4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

Digital media specialist Fi Bendall said the start-up represented some troubling aspects of online behaviour and blurred the line between fiction and reality.

"I think it's a pretty sad proposition to be honest," she told the website.

"I looked at it and I felt there was such a real sadness around it in terms of human loneliness. Who on earth would want to do this unless it was done for fun?" she added.

Bendall said 'Cloud Girlfriend' potentially put user information and privacy at risk.

"I think there are too many things that are wrong with it," she said.

"There are too many things from an ID protection point of view, a privacy point of view, using the net with best practice in terms of safety and online safety and security, helping young people to use it in a positive way and using social networking in a positive way. This opens the door to serious problems jumping up," she added.

Though the website has yet to officially launch, the service is already in high demand.

Dilip Kumar : Short Interview

AP

Dilip Kumar, Actor

FELLOW TRAVELLER

Tea & Travel

Actor Dilip Kumar talks about his favourite destinations and more.

AARTI KAPUR SINGH INTERVIEWS DILIP KUMAR

What is your favourite destination in the world?
Any place that reminds me of home. I know it defeats the basic point of a holiday, but I need to feel at home wherever I go. That's why it is necessary that Saira (my wife) travels with me. Then I am comfortable anywhere. But if I had to pick a place, it would be Dubai, because it is such a forward-moving and cosmopolitan destination.

Any favourite holiday memory?
Several, but I'll share one with you. Once we had gone on a family holiday to a village near Lucknow. We were staying in a remote guesthouse. Back in those days, the dak bungalows were actually 'dark' bungalows, because there was no electricity. I hid in one of the rooms with a white sheet over my head. As soon as Saira came in, I jumped from behind the door. The expression on her face was priceless! Many years later, when we were shooting for Ab To Banja Sajanwa Hamaar, Saira's debut as producer, in Rajpipla in Gujarat, I attempted the same prank. Saira really got angry this time. She was still scared!

One holiday destination you keep going back to?
Our farmhouse in Lonavla! It exudes calm. We grow our own vegetables and fruits and go fishing nearby. I love London (especially the Hyde Park area) and New York too—both cities welcome you with open arms.

What do you like to do while on holiday?
When I was young, I would walk for miles on end. It's the best way to take in local sights and sounds. Even now, if I am up to it, I still walk. Also, my wife still cannot make a decent cup of tea, so I love to just sit around with gallons of the local tea. On a holiday, I have tea to my soul's content; I know I won't get much of it back home.

How fond are you of local cuisines?
I am a complete foodie. I am very fond of eating, especially fish. Wherever I go, I make it a point to try out the local fish preparations. I am not very fond of sushi, but I like spicy food. I love the way fish is cooked in South India, with coconut. I once had poached fish in Dubai, which was very nice.

Any souvenirs that you like to pick up?
Saira is the artistic one—she has a great taste for curios, artefacts and so on. I am just a simple farmer, so I often tend to pick up seeds, interesting plants, flowers and saplings for my home in Mumbai and our Lonavla farmhouse. I have a very good date tree, which I picked up from the Middle East. We often send its fruit to loved ones and dear friends.
What's the one thing you dislike about travelling?
The airports! I can't understand the logic of waiting so long for various checks. Somebody wants to travel, roam the world—it is as simple as that. I wish governments would get together and come up with a way of shortening the checks and counter-checks at airports.

Native Intelligence ?

http://www.vidsage.com/technology-computers-gadgets/50-technology-computers-gadgets/1180-indias-new-invention.html

Success on a platter

Aparajita Gupta, TNN | Mar 23, 2011, 05.27am IST

 In1991, he started a 32-seater restaurant called Only Fish in Mumbai. He didn't have much money to spend, so the restaurant did not even have a toilet. He gave his wife Rs 50,000 to do the interiors. She bought some terracotta showpieces from Kolkata to decorate the place. 

To his surprise, Only Fish soon became a favourite of the glitterati, thanks to the superb food and the interiors done by his wife. "In no time, stars like Jaya Bachchan,Anupam Kher and Ashish Vidyarthi started coming to our restaurant," says Anjan Chatterjee,who now owns some of India's best-known restaurant chains, including Mainland China, Oh! Calcutta, Machaan, Sigree and Flame & Grill.

The success of Only Fish, which later transformed into Oh! Calcutta, persuaded Chatterjee to begin a speciality restaurants business. He had done a three-year diploma course in hotel management from the Indian Institute of Hotel Management, Taratalla (Kolkata). He teamed up with three of his batchmates—Indranil Chatterjee, Biswajit Mukherjee and Indranil Palit—for the venture.

The idea was to build speciality restaurants and not to mix any cuisine with another. "Since my childhood I had gone out to eat in Tangra (China town in Kolkata). But I never could find a standalone Chinese restaurant that could offer a duck, a broccoli or real Chinese sauces, like Tangra did. There was a lack of focused cuisine.We saw an opportunity there." Thus was born Mainland China in 1995 in Sakinaka, Mumbai. Mainland China quickly became the flagship chain of Chatterjee's company Speciality Restaurants and is today perhaps the largest chain of fine dining Chinese restaurants in the country with 30 outlets.

The USP of the company was to provide "five star food and service at non-five star prices". Chatterjee invested a lot in the back end—the kitchen. "For long-term operations one cannot have a small kitchen. So we have large kitchens.We check our food through internal microbiological tests. We have never compromised on quality," he says.

Chatterjee, now 52, says he learnt the art of hospitality from his father. "I was influenced by the way my father and other family members welcomed guests at home." And he learnt the art of good cooking from his inlaws. They were originally from Sylhet in East Bengal (now Bangladesh), a place well known for the uniqueness of their cooking.

Chatterjee comes from a family that's not even remotely associated with business. "Ours is a family of research scientists. Mostly people with doctorates and post doctorates." His father was an entomologist associated with the Indian Agricultural Research Institute.

Though born in Kolkata, Chatterjee was constantly on the move as a child as his father had a transferable job. He completed his graduation from Utkal University in physiology. But Chatterjee wanted to do something different. "In the early 1980s, catering was not considered a respectable profession.

People at home were not at all encouraging. But I have tremendous conviction in whatever I want to do." With that, he joined the hotel management course. He was picked up by the Taj Group from the campus and started working in Mumbai as a management trainee. But that wasn't enough for Chatterjee. He did an evening course in marketing, and then went on to join Ananda Bazar Partika's advertising department where he did space marketing.

In 1985, he set up his own advertising agency in Mumbai called Situations Advertising and Marketing Services, which is now a Rs 200-crore company with clients like Jyothy Laboratories, Cello pens,Everest Masala and Wipro Consumer Care's Yardley brand. The money from this business, combined with his interest in food and expertise in hotel management, persuaded him to set up Only Fish, and led him into a line that he is now far better known for.

His wife, Suchhanda (Minu), has been a big support; she plans the master designs of his restaurants' interiors. He has also brought in unique touches to his services. "When I turned 40, I realized the need of a pair of reading glasses and I also found that people some times forget to carry it. So I started keeping a box full of reading glasses of all powers in my restaurants." He also found that elderly people often shiver when eating in air-conditioned rooms. "I told myself, if aircrafts can keep shawls,why can't we. So we have shawls in restaurants."

Such attention to detail has worked wonders with diners.

Why India is part dysfunctional, fully functional ?

Why India is part dysfunctional, fully functional 

- Aakar Patel, Mint lounge

 

Indian society functions as a whole. Observed in part, it's dysfunctional. Let me explain.

 

Without Gujaratis and Rajasthanis, India wouldn't have an economy. Delete Tata / Birla / Ambani / Mittal / Premji and India begins to look like Bangladesh. The rest of the country -Bengal, Bihar, Orissa, Kashmir, UP, etc.- will have lots of culture but little else.

 

That such a tiny community monopolizes the ability to raise and manage capital is frightening. However, it needs to be understood as part of a whole. There are things missing in Gujarat and Rajasthan as well, whole chunks, without which those states wouldn't function properly.

Gujarat's contribution to the Armed Forces, for instance, is instructive. In 2009, The Indian Express reported, Gujarat sent its highest ever number of recruits to the Indian Army. How many? A total of 719 in an army of over a million soldiers. Mind you, this was after a big awareness campaign. In the preceding two years the number of Gujarati recruits was 230. Gujarat has 55 million people but it depends on the rest of India to defend it.

Gujarat also needs another thing, though some might disagree. As a mercantile culture, Gujarati literature is quite poor. The shelves of Crossword stores in Ahmedabad (Surat has none) are lined with volumes of Bengali novels in translation. I wonder how many Gujarati novels have Bengali translations. Probably none, but Gujarat needs the literature of others and I only discovered Camus through his Gujarati translations.

 

Gujaratis speak no English and though Azim Premji and Ratan Tata run billion-dollar information technology businesses, they are dependent on south Indians to staff their companies. This sort of dependency is everywhere we look in India.

 

Mumbai's two dominant communities, Marathi and Gujarati, are incidental to Bollywood. Bollywood is properly the product of Punjab and the high culture ("Ganga-Jamuni") of north India's Hindustani speakers. Why is this so? Punjab's peasants have an extroverted physical culture (writer Santosh Desai observed that bhangra was the only Indian dance form which exposed the armpit), which is unusual on the subcontinent. This culture is the basis and the setting for entertainment, and the reason why Bollywood migrates so easily to Pakistan.

 

However, Punjabis and north Indians need the liberal environment that only Mumbai can give for their talents to flower. That's why Pakistan doesn't really have a film industry, though there is plenty of talent. Partition hurt Punjabi Muslims, because they are perfect for our film industry.

 

Why is Pakistan such a mess? Some would blame Islam, but they'd be wrong. The problem isn't religion at all. The problem is lack of caste balance. There aren't enough traders to press for restraint and there are too many peasants. Too many people concerned about national honour, and not enough people concerned about national economy. Put simply: Pakistan has too many Punjabis and not enough Gujaratis. The majority of Pakistanis live in Punjab, but well over 50% of government revenue comes from just one city in Sindh: Karachi. Why? That is where the Gujarati is.

 

Gujaratis are less than 1% of Pakistan's population, but they dominate its economy because they are from trading communities. Colgate-Palmolive in Pakistan is run by the Lakhani Memons, the Dawood group is run by Memons from Bantva in Saurashtra (the great Abdus Sattar Edhi is also a Memon from Bantva). The Adamjee group, advertisers on BBC, are from Gujarat's Jetpur village and founded Muslim Commercial Bank.

 

The Khoja businessman Sadruddin Hashwani owns hotels including Islamabad's bombed-out Marriott. Khojas founded Habib Bank, whose boards are familiar to Indians who watched cricket on television in the 1980s. The Habibs also manufacture Toyota cars through Indus Motors. Pakistan's only beer is made by Murree Brewery, owned by a Parsi family, the Bhandaras. Also owned by Parsis is Karachi's Avari Hotels.

 

People talk of the difference between Karachi and Lahore. I find that the rational view in Pakistani newspapers is put forward by letter-writers from Karachi. Often they have names like Gheewala, a Sunni Vohra name (same caste as Deoband's rector from Surat, Ghulam Vastanvi), or Parekh, also a Surat name.

 

Today capital is fleeing Pakistan because of terrorism and poor governance. To convince investors things will get better, the Pakistani government has appointed as minister for investment a Gujarati, Saleem Mandviwalla. The Mandviwallas own Pakistan's multiplexes, which now show Bollywood. The place where Gujaratis dominate totally, as they do also in India, is Pakistan's capital market. Going through the list of members of the Karachi Stock Exchange (www.kse.com.pk) this becomes clear. However, few Pakistanis will understand this because as Muslims they have little knowledge of caste.

 

The Gujarati tries to hold up the Pakistani economy, but the peasant Punjabi (Jat) runs over his effort with his militant stupidity. Why cannot the Pakistani Punjabi also think like a trader? Simple. He's not converted from the mercantile castes. There are some Khatris, like Najam Sethi, South Asia's best editor, but they are frustrated because few other Pakistanis think like them. Are they an intellectual minority? Yes, but that is because they are a minority by caste.

 

One great community of Pakistani Punjabi Khatris is called Chinioti. They are excellent at doing business but in a martial society they are the butt of jokes. I once heard Zia Mohyeddin tell a funny story about the cowardice of Chiniotis and I thought of how differently a Gujarati would look at the same story.

 

Can the individual escape caste? Of course he can. What defines behaviour in this sense is not genes but culture. Baniyas are brought up to seek compromise, to keep emotion in check, to identify value, to understand capital, to persist. This does not come automatically, and it is wrong to believe otherwise.

 

My teacher, the most learned writer in journalism, is from the Burki tribe of Waziristan. It isn't the place you would look for intellectuals, but he cannot be defined by his tribe. It takes intellectual effort, however, to distance one's self from culture and upbringing. This is especially true in a society that is collective. And yet examples of those who defy caste and community are all around us.

 

There aren't many Sardarji jokes you can crack about Manmohan Singh, an austere and measured (he would say "meyyered") intellectual. I believe it is not possible to understand India without feeling caste. That's why I respect the individual who breaks away, and he is everywhere you look. Our army chiefs immediately after independence were drawn from warrior castes. The Coorgs Cariappa and Thimayya, and Saurashtra's Jadeja (from a warrior caste Gujaratis call "Bapu"). But in a few decades we had Brahmins (Sharma and Joshi) and even traders (Malhotra, Malik and Kapoor). We can learn from each other since we live with each other.

 

However horrible a place it may be, India is balanced out by all of us: north Indians, south Indians, east Indians and west Indians. We are a unit, and the unit works.

 

- Aakar Patel is a director with Hill Road Media.

औरत ने दिया जन्म .....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJAfEimtkHM

Bank Loan !

Future of i-Products !

More Chinese Girls take GMAT than Indian Girls

Chinese women school India in doing business

Hemali Chhapia, TNN | Mar 21, 2011, 12.41am IST

MUMBAI: In most management colleges in India, the number of boys nearly always overshadows the strength of girls. Similar is the case in the global entrance exam GMAT, which sees a small percentage of Indian women trying their luck. 

The skewed trend has put India behind China in another sphere, as more and more Chinese women are taking the GMAT and breaking the glass ceiling by making it to top B-schools of the world. While women made up just 24% of the total Indian GMAT takers in 2010, they formed 63% of the aspirants in China.
In India, the scenario hasn't changed much in the last five years. According to the Graduate Management Admission Council, the agency that conducts GMAT, 77% men and 23% women from India took the management test in 2006. Four years later, the ratio stood at 76% men and 24% women. In real numbers too, Indian women appearing for the test declined. 

In China, on the other hand, the trend has been very different. The number of men applying for the GMAT has risen but not as much as women's. 

Thanks to Chinese women, the management test is witnessing a correction of gender imbalance. There were 1 lakh female test takers in 2009. The next year, 1,05,900 women represented 40.1% of all tests takers. "Driving much of that growth was China, as nearly 63 per cent of GMAT exam takers in China were women," noted GMAC. 

"One possible reason why there are so many Chinese women taking the GMAT exam is that there is a growing interest in accounting programs," said Michelle Sparkman Renz, GMAC director of research communications. 

David A Wilson, president and chief executive officer of GMAC, said: "Education, and business education in particular, offers women in China their best chance to become upwardly mobile. So, we're seeing more and more women considering business school as an option and taking the GMAT to facilitate this." 

Another plausible cause for fewer Indian girls signing up for master's program could be the low percentage of their enrolment in universities and professional courses. 

Rahul Choudaha, a New York-based higher education trend watcher, said: "In addition to general factors influencing GMAT test takers, Indian women face socio-cultural pressures of early marriage and family. Foreign MBA programs require work experience, which makes it even more difficult for women with family to get support for investing time and money in foreign MBA." 

2045: The Year Man Becomes Immortal

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2048138,00.html

Tallest Statue in the World : Gujarat

Please click on the link below : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34jfaefFYnM ,_.

Remember to view to the Super Moon tonight

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/sciencefair/post/2011/03/super-moon-saturday-night-full-moon-nasa-/1

Sadanand Vishwanath

The cricketer who announced the arrival of a New India

March 17, 2011 19:50 IST

The first cricket match that I watched live on television had featured arch-rivals India s ] and Pakistan, on September 21, 1983. It also happened to be the first one played under lights in India. The arena was Jawaharlal Nehru  Stadium, Delhi ]. Pakistan tallied 197 for 3, and then reduced India to a precarious 101 for 7.

Back to the wall, Kirti Azad and Madan Lal launched a rearguard counterattack to snatch victory by one wicket. En route, our spirits soared as high as the apogee of the three sixes a rampaging Kirti Azad blasted off Jalaluddin, who, only a September ago had claimed the first ODI hat-trick against Australia  (Rodney Marsh, Bruce Yardley and Geoff Lawson).

Those days Doordarshan telecast the matches with two or three cameras, and the viewers could see action only from one end of the stadium. All that changed on March 3, 1985; Doordarshan beamed the World Championship of Cricket feed of Channel 9. The quality of the visuals and the telecast left us awestruck. It was like switching from an abacus to an electronic calculator!

What also left us awestruck was the undefeated run of the Sunil Gavaskar-led Indian team Down Under. Small wonder then that it was voted the best Indian one-day team of the last century  

Rajiv Gandhi  had taken over as the prime minister and he raised hopes of building a New India. That March, a 22-year-old on the cricket field exemplified the spirit of New India. This stumper began life as a tail-end batsman, but grabbed every opportunity and went on to open the innings for the Syndicate Bank  team and later the Karnataka state team. He contributed 92 and 77 in the 1982-83 final to help Karnataka win the Ranji Trophy. Till then no team had upset mighty Bombay  on their home turf in a Ranji final.

And he was more electric behind the stumps. Anyone who saw the World Championship matches, and everyone who saw him stump Javed Miandad  (off Sivaramakrishnan) in the final, would endorse it. This flamboyant wicketkeeper with cheetah-like celerity and gazelle-like grace was a bobby-dazzler.

His aggression and attitude were so infectious that the 1985 team excelled as a great fielding unit. He naturally captivated our cricket crazy nation, and everyone deemed Sadanand Viswanath to be a worthy successor to Syed Kirmani (his idol).

More notably, he got under the skin of opponents, but minus the theatrics of a Sreesanth or a Harbhajan Singh .

Yet, few would have noticed that spring that young Viswanath was actually announcing the arrival of New India.

The Benson and Hedges World Championship was surely his crowning glory. Later, in the same month, India won the Rothmans Cup in Sharjah, in which India bundled out Pakistan for paltry 87 runs after Imran Khan  had skittled India out for mere 125 runs. In September, he pouched six catches in the third Test against Sri Lanka at Kandy to equal the Indian record.

He burst into our horizon as a meteor and then simply faded. What happened to this promising cricketer?

It was whispered that fame went to his head, he could not handle the adulation of fans and he hit the self-destruct button. The successive calamities that befell him too made the rounds. Then the word spread that he had hit the bottle and had become a bacchant.

I asked him and I heard the voice and story of a survivor. The voice of the chirpy fellow behind the stumps but tempered by the harsh trials of vicissitude.

He lost his dear parents, in devastating tandem, while he was trying to cement his place in the national team. A failed relationship was the third catastrophe to pummel him. An untimely finger injury worsened matters. Shattered, and deprived of emotional sheet anchor, young Vishy struggled to fend off competition from Kiran More, Chandrakant Pandit and a revitalised Syed Kirmani himself.

He began to drift like an anchorless ship across a choppy ocean. As normally happens, many fiends who hung out with him in his halcyon days, deserted the adrift ship.

Worse, since he enjoyed sundowners and bubbly, he was branded a dipsomaniac and they hung him out to dry.

He was sidelined after the ODI against the West Indies played at Ahmedabad  in January 1988. All together, he played just three Tests and 22 one-day matches for India.

When life is in a freefall, not deploying the parachute means termination in a crash. So he strove to put his life and finances in order, in anonymity. His first pit-stop was Abu Dhabi where an NRI happily offered him a job. But homesickness got the better of him in seven months; so he hopped back to Bangalore and rejoined the bank.

Four years later, in 1995, he quit the bank. With finances in desperate straits, he had to scrimp every pie to keep his head above water; so he moved out from a house into an inexpensive hotel room.

He took fresh guard to begin a third innings. Now a Level III coach, he started the Sadanand Viswanath Cricket Academy in 1996. About this time, a godsend arrived. A CCI invitation to appear for umpiring examinations. Ten former Test players (Bishen Bedi, Kirmani, Lalchand Rajput, Yashpal Sharma, Maninder Singh  turned up at Hyderabad. He got through.

Apart from this, Shashank Manohar , the present sovereign of BCCI, invited him to coach the Vidarbha boys. He was fully involved in cricket, again.

More good tidings arrived. Though two earlier attempts had proved fruitless, Brijesh Patel (and other office-bearers of the Karnataka State Cricket Association) succeeded in organising a benefit match for Viswanath in 2003, almost 16 years after he hung up his boots. He opened an auto showroom on the plot allotted by the Karnataka government in recognition of his World Championship heroics.

I asked him if he wished to share regrets. "The strife and the struggle to prevail were not ideal circumstances to think of nuptials. I hope I can tie the knot soon and settle down." Loneliness can be killing.

Since he had seen, been and experienced the crests and troughs of life, I prodded him to give a message to the youngsters. "Think big, go for it big from the beginning itself, stay focussed, dodge distractions; national interest is supreme; never forget your roots and sacrifices of your forebears. Yes, in life, be on the front foot, always."

What stumps me is that Viswanath has been umpiring for almost 15 years (at present, the only Test player as umpire) but he hasn't yet been elevated to the highest post -- officiating international matches. Mind you, other countries have been unsparing in promoting former national players (Paul Reiffel, Ian Gould, Asoka de Silva, Kumar Dharmasena). One hopes that the Board of Control for Cricket in India will accord him the springboard, soon.

March 10 is the anniversary of the remarkable World Championship conquest. Did he celebrate it this time? Of course, but in private.

What about last year, the silver jubilee of the triumph? "Low-key, not big as I expected," his voice trailed off.

He then waxed emotional about the unstinting support he received from Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri, and the privilege of rubbing shoulders with the giants of the game like Kapil Dev , Jimmy Amarnath, Dilip Vengsarkar, Kris Srikkanth, Mohammed Azharuddin , Roger Binny et al.

The momentous Melbourne  Moment did not find a mention even as a footnote on March 10. Perhaps the media was too engrossed in cranking up further the hype and hoopla surrounding the ongoing cricket World Cup.

This nation of cricketaholics, fans and addicts obsessed with cricket trivia and records, and a media that gets high on every sniff of cricket domination has apparently not yet grasped the significance of March 1985.

Image: Sadanand Vishwanath is a coach and umpire now.

Between 1981 and 2011 : Sensex vs Gold. Silver, PPF, FD and Inflation

Interesting Chart........

RSK

Give Me Strength ....

Dear God,

 

Please  give me strength to pay my 

income tax,
VAT,
CST,
service tax,
excise duty,
customs duty,
octroi,
TDS,
ESI,
property tax,
stamp duty,
CGT,
water tax,
professional tax,
road tax,
STT,
education cess,
wealth tax,
TOT,
capital gain tax,
• congestion levy etc  etc. 

Not to forget 

• hafta,
• donations,
• bribes,
• chanda etc. 

If I have some money left after that , please help me to do business.

 

Sincerely,

 

an Indian

Seniors texting

 

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there  appears to be a need for STC (Senior Texting Codes). Here are a few to get us started:           ATD: At The Doctor's                      BFF: Best Friend Fainted                     BTW: Bring The Wheelchair                      BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth            CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center                                         FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers                     FWIW: Forgot Where I Was                     FYI: Found Your Insulin                      GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!                      GHA: Got Heartburn Again                      HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement                     IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?                     LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out                      OMMR: On My Massage Recline            ROTFL...CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing...and Can't Get Up             TTYL: Talk To You Louder  WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?  WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

कौन घड़ी में भैया हम घर में टीवी लाये

A sorry tale of the way consumerism is warping lifestyles.....

RSK

कौन घड़ी में भैया हम घर में टीवी लाये,
केबल वाले ने भी आकर झटपट तार लगाये,
झटपट तार लगाये , टी वी हो गया चालू,
दोसो रुपये में बिकने लगा दस रूपये का आलू,
दोसौ रूपये का आलू! हमने कान लगाये,
अंकल चिप्स दो लाकर बच्चे चिल्लाये,
कौन घड़ी में भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।

देखते ही देखते सज गई सितारों की दूकान,
तेल बेचे बिग बी गंजे हुए किंग खान,
गंजे हुए किंग खान बोले डिश टी वी लगवायें,
टा-टा स्काई को अच्छा आमिर बतलायें,
ऎसा हुआ धमाल कि हमको चक्कर आये,
कौन घड़ी मे भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।

बीवी बोली आज हमे नवरतन तेल लगाना है,
बिग बी जैसे ठंडा-ठंडा कूल-कूल हो जाना है,
ठंडा-ठंडा कूल कूल जो सर्दी का अहसास कराये,
दफ़्तर से श्रीमान जी आप तेल बिना न आयें,
तेल बिना क्या पूछ हमारी कोई हमको बतलाये,
कौन घड़ी मे भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।

तेल लगा बालो में जब श्रीमती मुस्कुराई,
ऎश्वर्या ने कोका कोला की सी सीटी बजाई,
हम दौड़े घर के भीतर न हो जाये कोई फ़रमाइश,
बेटा बोला कोला रहने दो पापा लादो स्लाइस,
मां ने भी चाहा की बालो पर हेयर डाई लगवाये,
कौन घड़ी मे भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।

चुन्नू बोला डेरी मिल्क हमको लगती प्यारी,
सनफ़िस्ट की रट लगाने लगी दुलारी,
टॉमी को भी अब हम पेडीग्री खिलायेंगे
वरना देखो प्यारे पापा हम भूखे ही सो जायेंगे,
बाल हठ के आगे हमको चक्कर आये,
कौन घड़ी मे भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।

घर हमारा बन गया फ़रमाइशी दुकान,
विज्ञापनों की दौड़ में ऎसा हुआ नुकसान,
ऎसा हुआ नुकसान प्याज कटे बिन आँसू आये,
बदल दे घर का नक्शा  आप एल सी डी लगवाये,
सुनकर ये फ़रमान हम न रोये न हँस पाये,
कौन घड़ी मे भैया हम घर में टी वी लाये।