Somali Pirates

Somali Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs 

Could Make Prosecution Difficult, Experts Say

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA –

Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today, revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant Goldman Sachs.

There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the leader of the pirates announced, "We are doing God's work.  We work for Lloyd Blankfein."

The pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons last year, elaborated on the nature of the Somalis' work for Goldman, explaining that the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted.

"We were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday," the pirate said.

The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late 2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as opposed to pirates, "plus to get our share of the bailout money."

In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.

"There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they were, in fact, pirates," one government source said. 

 "But if they're bankers, our hands are tied." 

  ==============================

Vinod Mehta (Outlook magazine) on Tharoor and Modi

Tharoor vs Tharoor

The life and times of Shashi Tharoor resemble a morality tale. Here is a man who begins life with an extra-long silver spoon in his mouth. Clever, even brilliant, awesomely well-educated, lucky enough to land one of the most coveted jobs on the planet, author of several critically acclaimed books, he comes within a whisker of being elected Secretary General of the UN, manages to win a Lok Sabha seat, becomes a minister in the privileged foreign affairs ministry—and then throws it all away. Why? Is this man carrying an irresistible death wish? Or is he just a flawed hero of Shakespearean proportions? According to me, the above discussion is infinitely more interesting than whether he is a gentleman crook.

Mr Tharoor's CV suggests that from an early age he was seen as the boy genius—a faculty he knew he possessed, relished and was keen to advertise. His fairy godmother had bestowed on him another curse: he was effortlessly articulate on subjects ranging from Vijay Hazare to single malt whisky to global finance to jehadi terrorism. Such fluency with words, such well-formed arguments, such verbal poise, such lightness of touch.... No wonder he was heavily in demand in Delhi's social circles, book-chat soirees, memorial lectures and chatterati tittle-tattle. His fall is, in fact, a huge blow for the 24x7 media which requires instant judgements delivered in polished prose. Shashi Tharoor was their man.

Most of us who fancy ourselves as god's gift to humanity are victims of hubris. Fortunately, a few in this league are occasionally assailed by self-doubt—which keeps us out of mischief. Self-doubt, I suspect, is a phrase Mr Tharoor has never heard. If he ever got into hot water, or was caught with his hand in the till, or committed a gaffe, he was sure his dexterity with words would see him through. He was nearly right!

So, where is the morality tale? What is it that the super smart need never to forget? The best and the brightest, those with the most precocious and dazzling minds, are frequently their own worst enemies. Shashi Tharoor was brought down by Shashi Tharoor.

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Cricketing Trickster

In the other corner is a far less interesting person—possibly a classical crook. I readily concede that he has created the superbly entertaining and wildly successful IPL, which has caught the imagination of those boys and girls who believe cricket is nothing more than showbiz. (You'd be surprised how many of these kids exist.) For business model creation, Mr Lalit Modi should be given a national award whatever his contribution to destroying and distorting a noble game. Alas, the culture of sleaze and crime the tournament has spawned takes one's breath away. There seems to be no provision of the IPC which Modi does not seem to have violated. Bribery, forgery, conspiracy to murder, underworld links, call-girls and prostitution, money-laundering, insider trading, illegal betting, match-fixing, theft, drugs...these are some of the misdeeds Lalit Modi is accused of. Prima facie, the allegations appear to have some substance. Clearly, Modi is a hood; Tharoor is a confidence trickster.

As I write (Wednesday), Lalit Modi is fighting a last-ditch battle. The odds seem stacked heavily against him. However, it would be a travesty of justice if Mr Modi goes down alone. Senior ministers in the UPA, from an "important ally" of the Congress, also neck-deep in the IPL muck, seem at once tranquil and troubled. They say with apparent sincerity that they have "nothing to do with IPL". We shall see!

Lalit Modi is now toast. As he twists and turns, I hope he sings like a canary. For once in this country, let us catch the real crooks.

CricTrivia

Can you give the list of the people with most runs

 at each batting position in Tests and ODIs? 

In Tests the leaders are: 

1 Sunil Gavaskar (8511 runs),

2 Matthew Hayden (7351),

3 Ricky Ponting (9421),

4 Sachin Tendulkar (11,239),

5 Steve Waugh (6754), 

6 Steve Waugh (3165),

7 Adam Gilchrist (3948),

8 Daniel Vettori (2072),

9 Daniel Vettori (1075), 

10 Waqar Younis (496), and

 11 Muttiah Muralitharan (623). 

In one-day internationals it's

1 Gilchrist (7720), 

2 Tendulkar (12,857),

3 Ponting (11,979),

4 Aravinda de Silva (6870),

5 Arjuna Ranatunga (4675),

6 Michael Bevan (3006), 

7 Chris Harris (2130), 

8 Wasim Akram (1208),

9 Brett Lee (557), 

10 Waqar Younis (478), and 

11 Courtney Walsh (165 runs; Murali currently has 163).

Who has played the most one-day internationals

 without playing in a Test? 

The leader on this rather bittersweet list is India's 

Suresh Raina, who has currently played 90 one-day

 internationals without so far appearing in a Test 

match. He took the record from Australia's Ian 

Harvey, who played 73 ODIs - but no Tests. Two

 Kenyans have played more ODIs than this, obviously

 without playing a Test: Steve Tikolo 120 and Thomas

 Odoyo 115, while Kennedy Otieno has also played 

90.

BREAKING NEWS : Switch : Tharoor is IPL Chief and Lalit Modi is Minister for Ext Affairs

Moving with unprecedented speed and decisiveness, the Government of India and the BCCI has come up with a remarkably elegant and effective solution to
the ongoing IPL controversy - they have appointed Lalit Modi as External Affairs Minister and made Shashi Tharoor the commissioner of the IPL.

*Lalit Modi points in the general direction of Sikkim, denying its very existence and ending the border debate with China in a matter of seconds.*

"We suddenly realized that the amazing negotiation and crisis-management skills displayed by Mr.Lalit Modi are completely wasted on trivialities such as cricket. They would be put to much better use in the MoEA, where he could tackle serious problems such as Pakistan, China and Sri Lanka, and give the

rather bland ministry a much needed branding makeover. Woo hoo!", said Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh.

"Any man who can so brazenly thumb his nose at everyone even when he is neck-deep in shit will be a valuable asset in telling Pakistan to pike off.", said Dr.Singh, unexpectedly using a cuss-word cribbed from the
Planescape : Torment universe. "His superb denial skills will also come in handy in situations where we need to deny the existence of fairly obvious but annoying inconveniences such as the LOC, the refugee problem, and most of the north-eastern states. Plus, Mr.Modi is a perfect blend of 'external' and 'affairs', making him the perfect man for the job.", said Dr.Singh.

Early reports also indicate that Mr.Modi may be given additional charge of the Finance Ministry, to take advantage of his undoubted mastery of making ridiculously untenable financials seem viable, even exciting. "We are confident that Mr.Modi will be able to find sponsors who will pay for initiatives such as the UID and NREGA schemes, and even find a title sponsor
for the national debt. This will free up thousands of crores of taxpayer money that we can coolly pocke . . er . . ah . . pockastickate for stringinindous rural development projects.", winked Congress party spokesman Abhishek Manu Singhvi, making up a few official-sounding words in the nick
of time.

Apparently Mr.Modi has already swung into action, and has initiated an auction process to create privately held franchises out of institutions such as the State Bank of India, NABARD and, unsurprisingly, the Income-Tax Department. "We'll see how you IT losers investigate my accounts when my

good friends Mukesh Ambani and Vijay Mallya own your sorry asses", smirked Modi, under the mistaken impression that this was not already the case.

Meanwhile, former Minister of State for External Affairs Dr.Shashi Tharoor will take charge as commissioner of the IPL. His immediate duties will include implementing Mr.Modi's original vision of globalizing the league, by taking it to countries such as Gabon, Burkina-Faso and Sierra-Leone.
"Dr.Tharoor' s experience in Africa is very relevant to the IPL, since a third of the IPL matches have been played there anyway.", explained BCCI president Mr.Shashank Manohar, justifying the unexpected posting. "Plus, Africa has contributed one of the IPL's most integral parts - Akon. Smack
that!", said Manohar, wisely resisting the urge to swiftly slap his palm on the posterior of BCCI secretary Mr.Niranjan Shah, who was standing beside him.

Neither Mr.Modi nor Dr.Tharoor were available for further comment, since they've both been told to stay off Twitter, cutting off their main communication channel.

British Survey !

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)

MySnap : Oman

Remote,Sparse landscape,

Empty seat

and

A resting place 

Waiting for nobody.....

RSK

( pl ignore the wrong date)

MySnap ( Qantab Beach, Muscat)......

One hill, 

One old broken house,

One lonely boat
and 

A tranquil blue beach.....

RSK

Perfect Woman

Old one, in a new format!

RSK

 

Bombay : 1932

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob8n_Aaog58

 

 

What do you make, Teacher?

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Barbara. Be honest. What do you make?" Barbara, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, and then began...) "Well,  I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents CAN'T make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. You want to know what I make? (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table) I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding ISN'T EVERYTHING. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in maths. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given,work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life (Barbara paused one last time and then continued.) Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant.You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO? His jaw dropped, he went silent.

A Smart Kid talks !

http://www.ted.com/talks/adora_svitak.html

Laptop of Future?

Pl click :

German concept laptop

   

iPod Accident !

Submarine rams into ship as navigator listens to iPod 11 Apr 2010, 1310 hrs IST,IANS

LONDON / WASHINGTON:  A US nuclear submarine rammed into a ship causing damage worth nearly 60 million pounds as its navigator was listening to his iPod - a portable media player, a media report said Sunday.  The Sun Sunday cited an official report as saying that sailors on the USS Hartford were also using loudspeakers so they could play music while on duty.  Fifteen sailors on the Hartford were injured when it collided with the transport ship USS New Orleans in the Persian Gulf in March 2009.  Sonar operators and radio men were not present at their posts while others managed the submarine "with one hand on the controls and their shoes off".  The report criticised the navigator who was listening to his iPod in his cabin.  The submarine's captain, Commander Ryan Brookhart, was relieved of his duties after the navy probe found over 30 errors that led to the "avoidable accident".

Beijing Diary : Claude Alvares ( from OUTLOOK)

English Manchurian

The city still does not speak English. The bell-boy at my hotel spends a few minutes with me practising his English. Since I am visiting the university, he thinks I am a professor of sorts. I humour him for some time, but I can envision huge employment possibilities for retired English teachers from India. The Chinese believe Indians speak good English and are willing to be tutored by them in contrast to Americans (who are too aggressive in manners, speak too fast and are mostly unintelligible).

The moment you speak to waiters in English in Chinese restaurants, they immediately lose confidence and back off. This happened time and again. The first waiter who arrives at your table will retreat on hearing a customer speaking English and will disappear to find another colleague to take the order. The replacement will also retreat on the same grounds till someone (higher up in the hierarchy) arrives who has the confidence to stand and take orders even if it is still a slow process, edged along with plenty of sign language and pointing at pictures of desired dishes on menu cards. Despite the illustrated menus, ordering with the assistance of Chinese friends is still the only guarantee to a completely satisfactory meal. I have tried sometimes ordering on my own and been dismayed at what the cat brought in.

One thing is clear. Nowhere did I find any sign of our favourite Indian Chinese dish, 'Gobhi Manchurian'. On my return to India, I am now wholly disinclined to visit Chinese restaurants. I think I've been cheated all my life.

---

Table Manners

At the end of a marvellous Chinese meal, the chief waiter brings a bill. He bends over to whisper and tell our host that this is a draft bill. It takes some time to understand what the problem is. Our host simply laughs and explains to us that the restaurant is saying it can inflate the bill so that we can claim more, if possible, from our sponsors. That's when I discover that countries do learn things from their neighbours even if they are not always the best of friends.

Most Beautiful Cricket Ground in the world??

 Dharamshala, in India......2 IPL matches will be played here, on 16th and 18th, I think

RSK

Catch My Eye !

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous woman eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air.

"Oh my God, I am sooo sorry," the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to breakfast the next morning. When he arrives the next morning, she has cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!!

"You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."

Sania- Shoaib : Match Fixing !

..............A leading bookie told TOI ( Times of India) that the 'bhav' or odds on Sania getting married to Shoaib on April 15 was 25 paise - in other words, for every rupee placed on the wedding taking place, a bettor would get Rs 1.25 paise. The 'bhav' on the wedding being called off is Rs 3.50. The general sentiment in bookiedom, thus, seems to be in favour of the Sania-Shoaib nikaah happening.

''We are watching the twists and turns closely. The odds may change as the wedding date nears,'' the bookie said, adding tongue in cheek, ''There is no match-fixing.''

RSK

Why is Sania marrying some one who is Sau-aib ( 100 faults!) ??- RSK

What a site ! ( Old Hindi Songs)

http://www.hindigeetmala.com/singer/