Witty Quotes

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.'  We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

~ Desmond Tutu

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.  Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish

~ Timothy Jones 

             

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box

          ~ Italian proverb

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

           
             ~ Emo Philips. 

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.

             ~ Robin Hall
 

Having more money doesn't make you happier.  I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

            ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I don't believe in astrology.  I'm a Sagittarian and we Sagittarians very skeptical.

            ~ Arthur C Clarke 

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

            ~ John Glenn 

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

            ~ George Roberts

 

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport

 - Anon