Profundities !

Ø   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Ø   If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Ø   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Ø   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Ø   Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. Ø   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques. Ø   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". Ø   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Ø   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Ø   The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! Ø   Always borrow money from a pessimist. She won't expect it back. Ø   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Ø   I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. Ø   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. Ø   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Ø   Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. Ø   If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? Ø   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.