English Manchurian
The city still does not speak English. The bell-boy at my hotel spends a few minutes with me practising his English. Since I am visiting the university, he thinks I am a professor of sorts. I humour him for some time, but I can envision huge employment possibilities for retired English teachers from India. The Chinese believe Indians speak good English and are willing to be tutored by them in contrast to Americans (who are too aggressive in manners, speak too fast and are mostly unintelligible).
The moment you speak to waiters in English in Chinese restaurants, they immediately lose confidence and back off. This happened time and again. The first waiter who arrives at your table will retreat on hearing a customer speaking English and will disappear to find another colleague to take the order. The replacement will also retreat on the same grounds till someone (higher up in the hierarchy) arrives who has the confidence to stand and take orders even if it is still a slow process, edged along with plenty of sign language and pointing at pictures of desired dishes on menu cards. Despite the illustrated menus, ordering with the assistance of Chinese friends is still the only guarantee to a completely satisfactory meal. I have tried sometimes ordering on my own and been dismayed at what the cat brought in.
One thing is clear. Nowhere did I find any sign of our favourite Indian Chinese dish, 'Gobhi Manchurian'. On my return to India, I am now wholly disinclined to visit Chinese restaurants. I think I've been cheated all my life.
Table Manners
At the end of a marvellous Chinese meal, the chief waiter brings a bill. He bends over to whisper and tell our host that this is a draft bill. It takes some time to understand what the problem is. Our host simply laughs and explains to us that the restaurant is saying it can inflate the bill so that we can claim more, if possible, from our sponsors. That's when I discover that countries do learn things from their neighbours even if they are not always the best of friends.
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