New Proverbs.......

• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

• Remember, half the people you know are below average.

• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

• Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

• OK, so what's the speed of dark?

• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

• Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.